Typical weekend call to my parents house, though the phone answered after a curiously long time:

Brother: “Alright weasel-boy” [we have call ID]
Me: “Alright monkey-pigeon, why are you answering the phone” [he rarely does]
Brother: “Haven’t you heard?”
Me: [Slight concern] “what?”
Brother: ” Well dad was chopping wood and… [Cue visions of missing fingers, blood and general gore]

… a piece of wood flew up and broke his glasses. He & mum have gone to get them repaired”
[Random discussions]

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